THEY’RE celebrated all the time â€” the couples with long marriages, the folks all people entering marriages hope to emulate. But your grandma who was married to your grandpa for 40 years might not have been as happy as you thought. Fact is, women of that time put up with a lot, like infidelity, abuse, and outside women and children, and may have just not had the resources to leave. Indeed, more marriages than not are ending in divorce nowadays, with people realising that happily ever after doesn’t have to mean putting up with bull forever.
And those who are in the long-haul unions may not actually be in it just for love.
We asked people who have been married for a long time to be honest and share what has kept them going.
Leon M, married 14 years:
It’s the life insurance, if I were to be honest, and the assets we have together. She’s miserable and we don’t see eye to eye all the time, but she has a few very good insurance policies and we have a joint mortgage, so I have more to lose than to gain if I was to put her aside to chase some tail out there.
Ryan F, married 19 years:
This is my second marriage, I was a widower with young kids when I met her. She raised my children and is a good partner and mother, and we’re very compatible. Marriage isn’t just about love, it’s about respect and companionship and having that solid partner at your side. What has kept us going is that strong foundation. It’s not about whether she’s hot or whether I find other women hot, you just can’t shake a good, strong foundation.
Rohanna O, married 17 years:
I know he has another woman who he’s been with for years, and I have my guy too, but neither of us are going anywhere because we have too many ties. We have a business together, and all our money and assets are tied up. Getting a divorce would be an expensive venture for both of us. Our living situation works for us and our children, so there’s no use rocking the boat.
Tamara P, married 20 years:
Simple. He’s a good partner who ticks off all the right boxes. I can count on him when things get difficult, and my life is just easier having him around. We love each other, that’s the important thing, and everything else is secondary.
Maxine J, married 15 years:
To be practical, having a partner is better than being single in this economy. It makes more financial sense to couple up rather than trying to do things alone. There is more access to financial help, you’re better qualified for loans, etc, and you get things like a 401k, medical and dental insurance, and if I decide to leave my job, I have a support cushion.